Often times I ponder on traits about the opposite sex and for the life of me and still puzzled! Is it because I am a female with an open mind? Is it because I am the mother of a six year old man in the making? Perhaps it’s because I have chosen to mate with men, and as it stands am still trying to figure out what is the Essence of A Man…..

I pose the Question to both Men and Women: What is the Definition of a Real Man? I am not bias, nor is this just about Opposite Sex(s). This passage is about Women who Love Men, Women who Love to Hate Men, as well as Men Who Love Men and Men Who Love to Hate Men……

I grew up in a family of Two Parents both Mother and Father, and am the oldest of four. I have a sister (RIP) and two younger brothers. From back as far as I can recall my Father was the Envy of my Eyes. I thought that he could do no wrong and was the most masculine man that I knew. He was strong, determined, the life of the party and the apple of mine and everyone else’s eye. I worshiped the ground that my father walked on for reasons that are very clear to me, even till this very day.

My father is an awesome provider, goal oriented, loving and very nurturing to not just me but my siblings as well. My mother was sometimes timid, but very smart and strong willed and in my eyes stood as a shadow in my father’s world. My mother would always “play her role” as wife, mother, domestic diva extraordinaire and I loved that about her. Our house was spotless, food always ready(3 plus square meals) and we always seemed to have the latest and greatest. It was a wonderful life, and then one day the lights came on.

I began to recognize my mother’s true role…she was and still is the backbone of my family. In other words she is the nucleus. My father was a soldier in the United States Army and was often out of the country and or the home to say the least. In retrospect, I viewed my father as the smarter of my two parents and this was because my mother always spoke of how wise and wonderful my father was. I followed suite! I never really paid attention to the fact that my father was missing in action a vast majority of the time due to the “Military Lifestyle”. My mother was at home being the Black Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker to not just four children but her two youngest siblings as my grandmother had chosen to “Take Some Time Off from Parenting” or one could define it as “Doing Her”. Nevertheless it was 6 of us and every once in a while an Uncle or an Aunt who Needed to “Dry Out” (alcohol and drugs make people crazy).

While my mother ran a Daycare, Rehab, Bakery, and Dinning Hall…my father served Uncle Sam. It wasn’t until a few years before I became a mother myself that I began to recognize how much easier my father had it. My mother and father were a young couple with grown couple responsibilities and it wasn’t always easy. I thought that my father made all of the decisions and that he was our saving grace when times were rough. On the contrary my dear Watson. My mother had to make executive decisions and often times gave my father credit where credit wasn’t due. My mother never spoke negatively about my father, yet she could have. My father was the Protector, Hustler(the type of man who could make a $1.00 out of 0.15), and when he spoke everyone listened. I love that about him still.
My father had the Armed Forces and my mother was Forced to serve Arms!

Although I love and respect my father like no other man. I came to the realization that it was and has been my mother who “Held It All Together”. It is my sincere feeling and deepest belief that “The Essence of A Man” is the woman that stands Beside Him.

* Please let me know your definition of a “Real Man”

Best of it all,
Sharmina T.

working back to the bone

more prown to caring

about us her kids than her own

self sacrificing hardships struggles

trials comes her way

but despite that within her motivation

elevation education emerges to the surface

She is my sheroe

crazy insane as she wants to be if the place

ain’t clean mentally free to see and

accomplish the unexpected

always respected on so many levels rubuking

devils

spirituality exudes from her

intelligent beautiful all that and a bag of

chips

She is my sheroe

black bold loud additudinal

rice and peas acki and codfish (groud food)

bakes, arroz con pollo making cooking up a

storm

more like a tsunami or a whirlwind this aint

the end its only the beginning

she is my sheroe

always on the go never taking always giving

never resting

in all her ways in all her days caring loving

considerate compassionate sharing what she has

with others

the third oldest of her sisters and brothers

God fearing

She is my sheroe

She cant stop she won’t stop doing what she

does best and thats being selfless selfless

black skin supernatual when she gets ready to

go out this women looks damn good

She is my sheroe

Cant nobody do things like she do

she is my sheroe

strong lioness you see because she truily is

the queen of her jungle

hear her roar when the place aint clean

I said her her roar when the place aint clean

she is my sheroe

getting things done doing it right the first

time

worry worth

when daddy left holding down the fort

always trying to sort things out going to the

grocery store talking about how she’s gonna be

right back but instead she comes out like 10

hours later talking about there was sale or a

long line

she is my sheroe

with Gods help handling things all on her own

and at the same time always checking to make

sure we (her children) are ok

she is the epitome of the word mother

I love her

and you mommy are my sheroe

by Pacell (“Sweet P”) McCobb

The word Mom should be carved out of onyx trimmed with platinum and hung high in the sky for all to see. Her worth is priceless, she is irreplaceable, and her love is unconditional. The job at times seems thankless as well as endless but she takes it on with a smile. Her worries, her prayers and her constant sacrifice are nothing less then, a true blessing! She told me “no” for my own good, and “yes,” even when she knew… maybe, I didn’t deserve it. She provided me with shelter, nourishment, nurtured me and even gave me siblings to grow up with. What is it that they say…? “No charge.” Yes, she did all that and then some, no charge! Still a youth herself, still finding her way, she now had me to take care of. Nobody believed in her, but Mama’ rest assured, the angles are singing a tune dedicated to you, and the translation means… Well done! For only you could have turned a mistake into a miracle. Only you could have been strong enough to endure. And it’s you who I owe my life to, and it’s you who I will honor until time is no more…

By Marie Antionette
http://www.mzmarieantionette.com

Poem:  “Don’t Take Things for Granted”
Author:  Kolayah KeeVan “KolayOtuNde”
…from his book “Only 1 Will Speak”

you seem to find me everyday about this time
going out of your way to be noticed
sometimes i don’t realize that you are there

i take it for granted that I’ll see you
yet long for you when things around me grow dark
nothing works when you are not around

chaos reins in your absence
Everything at a disorder
i guess that’s why the Creator made you first

you’re the only thing in my life that stays constant
when everything else change keeping your course
staying firm to your charge and what you were founded
on we all can learn from you

# # #

Thank you, Kolayah, for participating in the “Letters to a Young Sister” by Hill Harper book promotion contest with your message of love to mothers.

Dear Mom,

Thanks for these last couple of years. Growing up, our relationship was sorted, muddled and wrought with miscommunications and misunderstandings. If it weren’t for the fact that I chose to go to grad school and, subsequently, had to move home, I would have continued to believe you were the person I made you in my head. Instead, we talked. We struggled. We learned things about ourselves and each other that only the strain of abject poverty can reveal. Thanks for being there to pick up the pieces when I finally realized that you are human. Though flawed and imperfect you are the greatest gift to me. Thank you for being my mother.

Your daughter,
Nina

*UPDATE SATURDAY, MAY 16, 2009*

CONGRATULATIONS TO NINA WHOSE NAME WAS RANDOMLY DRAWN YESTERDAY.  SHE WILL BE RECEIVING A COPY OF “LETTERS TO A YOUNG SISTER” AUTOGRAPHED BY HILL HARPER.

Since there were some beautifully written letters and poems submitted, I will be featuring them as post (where I’ve received permission from the author) during the week of May 17.  The first one will be posted on Sunday, May 17, and one a day until I have gone through the entire list.

Even though this contest is over, continue to share your positive messages to your moms or those who have acted as a mother figure to you.  We don’t need to withhold our feelings in anticipation of a holiday like Mother’s Day.  It’s never too late to let someone know you care.

Again, thanks to everyone who supported this contest by submitting an entry or forwarding the message along.  I will also be posting a book review soon.

Peace and Love,

~Affrodite

Hill Harper is most recognizable as the character Sheldon Hawks on the hit tv series “CSI: NY.” In the follow-up to his award winning national bestseller, “Letters to a Young Brother,” Harper shares his powerful wisdom for young women everywhere, drawing on the courageous advice of the female role models who transformed his life.

“Letters to a Young Sister” unfolds as a series of letters written by older brother Hill to a universal Young Sistah. She’s up against the same challenges as every young woman: from relating to her parents and dealing with peer pressure, to juggling schoolwork and crushes and keeping faith in the face of heartache. In his straight-talking style, Hill helps his young sister build self-confidence, self-reliance, self-respect, and encourages her on her journeys towards becoming a strong and successful woman. The book also includes contributions from admirable women like Angela Basset, Ciara, Michelle Obama, Tatyana Ali, Nikki Giovanni, Congresswoman Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrikck, Eve, Malinda Williams, Kim Porter, and more.

(book overview courtesy of Penguin Group)

In celebration of Mother’s Day and the paperpback release of “Letter’s To A Young Sister” I am running a CONTEST.

It’s simple!  Just post a LETTER TO YOUR MOTHER expressing your gratitude here as a comment of at least 50 words and you’ll be entered into a drawing for a FREE COPY of “Letters To A Young Sister.”

This contest runs from THURSDAY, MAY 7, 2009 through next THURSDAY, MAY 14, 2009 (deadline is midnight EST on May 14).

I will announce the winner on FRIDAY, MAY 15, 2009.  Winner will received a copy of “Letters to a Young Sister” autographed by author Harper Hill.

Be sure to use a VALID EMAIL ADDRESS in your comment where you can be contacted by me if you win.  Your email address does not get posted with your comment nor will be used for any other purpose than to announce the winner.

Thank you, Penguin Group, for partnering with me to offer this contest to my readers.

Here are a few links as additional resources.

Affrodite.net- POST ABOUT May 5, 2009 RELEASE OF “LETTERS TO A YOUNG SISTER”

CSI Files: Hill Harper- APRIL 7, 2009 INTERVIEW ABOUT SEASON 5 OF CSI: NY

Hill Harper’s non-profit youth organization- MANIFEST YOUR DESTINY

Facebook- HILL HARPER FAN PAGE

Myspace- HILL HARPER

Twitter- @hillharper

IMDb- BIO FOR HILL HARPER