Often times I ponder on traits about the opposite sex and for the life of me and still puzzled! Is it because I am a female with an open mind? Is it because I am the mother of a six year old man in the making? Perhaps it’s because I have chosen to mate with men, and as it stands am still trying to figure out what is the Essence of A Man…..
I pose the Question to both Men and Women: What is the Definition of a Real Man? I am not bias, nor is this just about Opposite Sex(s). This passage is about Women who Love Men, Women who Love to Hate Men, as well as Men Who Love Men and Men Who Love to Hate Men……
I grew up in a family of Two Parents both Mother and Father, and am the oldest of four. I have a sister (RIP) and two younger brothers. From back as far as I can recall my Father was the Envy of my Eyes. I thought that he could do no wrong and was the most masculine man that I knew. He was strong, determined, the life of the party and the apple of mine and everyone else’s eye. I worshiped the ground that my father walked on for reasons that are very clear to me, even till this very day.
My father is an awesome provider, goal oriented, loving and very nurturing to not just me but my siblings as well. My mother was sometimes timid, but very smart and strong willed and in my eyes stood as a shadow in my father’s world. My mother would always “play her role” as wife, mother, domestic diva extraordinaire and I loved that about her. Our house was spotless, food always ready(3 plus square meals) and we always seemed to have the latest and greatest. It was a wonderful life, and then one day the lights came on.
I began to recognize my mother’s true role…she was and still is the backbone of my family. In other words she is the nucleus. My father was a soldier in the United States Army and was often out of the country and or the home to say the least. In retrospect, I viewed my father as the smarter of my two parents and this was because my mother always spoke of how wise and wonderful my father was. I followed suite! I never really paid attention to the fact that my father was missing in action a vast majority of the time due to the “Military Lifestyle”. My mother was at home being the Black Martha Stewart and Betty Crocker to not just four children but her two youngest siblings as my grandmother had chosen to “Take Some Time Off from Parenting” or one could define it as “Doing Her”. Nevertheless it was 6 of us and every once in a while an Uncle or an Aunt who Needed to “Dry Out” (alcohol and drugs make people crazy).
While my mother ran a Daycare, Rehab, Bakery, and Dinning Hall…my father served Uncle Sam. It wasn’t until a few years before I became a mother myself that I began to recognize how much easier my father had it. My mother and father were a young couple with grown couple responsibilities and it wasn’t always easy. I thought that my father made all of the decisions and that he was our saving grace when times were rough. On the contrary my dear Watson. My mother had to make executive decisions and often times gave my father credit where credit wasn’t due. My mother never spoke negatively about my father, yet she could have. My father was the Protector, Hustler(the type of man who could make a $1.00 out of 0.15), and when he spoke everyone listened. I love that about him still.
My father had the Armed Forces and my mother was Forced to serve Arms!
Although I love and respect my father like no other man. I came to the realization that it was and has been my mother who “Held It All Together”. It is my sincere feeling and deepest belief that “The Essence of A Man” is the woman that stands Beside Him.
* Please let me know your definition of a “Real Man”
Thanks to connecting globally on Twitter, I learned that today is African Liberation Day (aka “Africa Day”). Today is also a day to celebrate unity, beauty, and all of the accomplishments of Africa.
Here’s one good link I found to read about the holiday. If you find any, please share, and I will update this post.
I’m not the most patriotic gal you’ll ever meet, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve grown to respect the sacrifices made by those in order for me to live freely. Our culture in the US tends to downplay casualties and moreso those injured in combat in order to play up the rationale for doing what we do. It doesn’t always make sense, but those individual soldiers, some as young as 18 have put their life in harm’s way for reasons they sometimes do not completely understand.
As I look at antiwar.com’s website and see our total number of soldiefs killed in Iraq as of today is at 31,285 it makes me sad. Not to mention those who have committed suicide for reasons related to the trauma of combat.
I salute you all- men and women and your families left behind on this Memorial Day 2009.
“Make a Splash with Cullen Jones” kicks off in Houston on May 20 to promote life-saving, learn-to-swim programs.
Colorado Springs, Colo. (May 19, 2009) — On the heels of a photo finish win in the 4×100 meter freestyle relay last summer in Beijing, Olympic gold medalist Cullen Jones joins forces with the USA Swimming Foundation and ConocoPhillips in an effort to reduce the drowning statistics among minority youth. Jones will spread the message with a six-city event series, “Make a Splash with Cullen Jones,” presented by ConocoPhillips, beginning May 20, in Houston.
Motivated by the sobering fact that African-American children drown at a rate almost three times higher than Caucasian children in similar age groups, Jones, the first African-American male to hold a world record in swimming, is using his fame to raise awareness on the issue and ensure more kids learn to swim, especially in urban communities. As primary spokesman for the USA Swimming Foundation’s Make a Splash initiative, Jones will tour the country promoting the availability of low- to no-cost swimming lessons to give all kids access to life-saving swimming skills, regardless of their ethnic or economic background.
In addition to Houston, “Make a Splash with Cullen Jones” will visit five other cities this year — Indianapolis, Seattle, Kansas City, Denver and Los Angeles. There, Jones will meet with community leaders, parents and children to deliver a stark message – the ability to swim is a life-and-death issue that requires immediate action from parents and kids. He also will focus on increasing funding for learn-to-swim initiatives across the country by soliciting donations to the Make a Splash/Sponsor a Swim Lesson program. Sponsor a Swim Lesson is an online giving program that provides the public an opportunity to help fund free or low-cost swim lessons for kids who otherwise may not have the opportunity to learn.
“I didn’t learn how to swim to become an Olympic champion,” said Jones. “I learned how to swim, because when I was five years old, I almost drowned. Every summer these tragedies happen and we talk about how they could have been prevented; yet every year the statistics remain the same. I am committed to a real solution and with the help of USA Swimming Foundation’s Make a Splash initiative and ConocoPhillips, we can do it.”
According to research done by USA Swimming in 2008, six out of 10 African-American children don’t know how to swim, nearly twice as many as their Caucasian counterparts, while 56 percent of Hispanic and Latino children are unable to swim.
Parents are a major contributor in a child’s inability to swim; only 13 percent of children who come from a non-swimming household will learn to swim. African-American and Hispanic / Latino children are six times more likely to be part of a family in which neither parent nor child can swim. In those families, 91 percent of African-American children will not learn to swim. Among Caucasians and Hispanic / Latino children, that number is closer to 70 percent.
“Drowning statistics, coupled with our research, provide some clear answers to the question, ‘how do we cure the drowning epidemic?’” said Chuck Wielgus, USA Swimming’s executive director. “We’ve identified some barriers that keep kids from learning to swim, and now we are ready to work on overcoming them. Through Make a Splash, we will educate parents on the importance of learning to swim, and put forth a positive role model with Cullen Jones. Most importantly, and because of the financial support of our partner, ConocoPhillips, we can provide opportunities for kids to become water-safe through access to free or low-cost swimming lessons.”
”At ConocoPhillips we believe we are defined by what we pass on to the next generation,” said Jim Mulva, ConocoPhillips chairman and CEO. “Safety has always been a core value in our company, and the Make a Splash initiative is an ongoing commitment to increase the number of children who are able to swim as well as educate our youth on water safety. ConocoPhillips is proud to work with Cullen Jones and USA Swimming on this united effort.”
Make a Splash, the national, child-focused water safety initiative of the USA Swimming Foundation, began in 2007. In two years, more than 37,000 kids have gone through Make a Splash swimming lessons. Make a Splash works by aligning the nation’s top learn-to-swim providers in an effort to save lives. Currently, there are 68 providers giving free or low-cost water safety instruction across the country. For more information, or to donate or sponsor a swim lesson for a child in need, go to www.makeasplash.org.
About Cullen Jones
Cullen Jones is one of the fastest freestyle sprinters in the world today. At the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, he was a member of the electrifying 400m freestyle relay team that broke the world record and won Olympic gold in one of the most memorable races in history. With the victory, Cullen became the second African-American to win Olympic swimming gold. As a member of the 2008-2009 U.S. National Team, Cullen is currently training for the 2009 ConocoPhillips USA Swimming National Championships, which is the qualifying meet for the 2009 FINA World Championships in Rome. He trains under Coach David Marsh at SwimMAC in Charlotte, North Carolina.
About Make A Splash
Make a Splash is a national child-focused anti-drowning initiative created by The USA Swimming Foundation, which operates by aligning the nation’s top learn-to-swim resources in an effort to save lives. Make a Splash educates parents through a national awareness campaign, saves lives by joining forces with grassroots learn-to-swim programs and reaches thousands of children through wide-reaching in-school materials. The program exists because nine people drown each day in the U.S., and in ethnically diverse communities, the youth drowning rate is two to three times higher. For more information, visit makeasplash.org.
About ConocoPhillips
ConocoPhillips became a corporate sponsor of USA Swimming in 1973. ConocoPhillips is an integrated energy company with interests around the world. Headquartered in Houston, the company has more than 30,000 employees and operates in more than 30 countries. For more information, go to www.conocophillips.com.
This is a press release from CURLS™, the company that I partnered with back in February to run the Love Your Curls Contest.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
May 21, 2009
For the third consecutive year, CURLS™ has been nominated as a finalist in Behindthechair.com’s Annual Stylist Choice Awards. The awards honor the best in products, education and platform artists which are voted by top stylists from all over the United States. CURLS™ is nominated in the category of “Favorite Multicultural Company” alongside Farouk Systems, Mizani, Paul Mitchell and Redken.
Designed for multi-ethnic women and girls, the CURLS™ hair system offers the perfect blend of light-weight conditioning and dependable curl protection needed to keep curls looking healthy, frizz-free and effortlessly fabulous. CURLS™ is created with certified organic ingredients and exotic oils hand pressed in Bali.
The 9th Annual Stylist Choice Awards will be held on Sunday, June 7th, 2009 in Orlando, Florida at the Rosen Centre. In addition, the awards presentation, Behindthechair.com will be honoring eight companies who have made it into the SCA Hall of Fame. Artists from various hair lines will be onstage for exclusive live presentations.
CURLS is a specialized hair care company providing unparalleled service + exceptional products for curly women, girls and babies across the US, Canada and other international markets. CURLS outshines the rest by offering customized hair care regimes, personalized hair care support, and live workshops on demand. For additional information visit www.curls.biz.
The word Mom should be carved out of onyx trimmed with platinum and hung high in the sky for all to see. Her worth is priceless, she is irreplaceable, and her love is unconditional. The job at times seems thankless as well as endless but she takes it on with a smile. Her worries, her prayers and her constant sacrifice are nothing less then, a true blessing! She told me “no” for my own good, and “yes,” even when she knew… maybe, I didn’t deserve it. She provided me with shelter, nourishment, nurtured me and even gave me siblings to grow up with. What is it that they say…? “No charge.” Yes, she did all that and then some, no charge! Still a youth herself, still finding her way, she now had me to take care of. Nobody believed in her, but Mama’ rest assured, the angles are singing a tune dedicated to you, and the translation means… Well done! For only you could have turned a mistake into a miracle. Only you could have been strong enough to endure. And it’s you who I owe my life to, and it’s you who I will honor until time is no more…
Poem: “Don’t Take Things for Granted”
Author: Kolayah KeeVan “KolayOtuNde”
…from his book “Only 1 Will Speak”
you seem to find me everyday about this time
going out of your way to be noticed
sometimes i don’t realize that you are there
i take it for granted that I’ll see you
yet long for you when things around me grow dark
nothing works when you are not around
chaos reins in your absence
Everything at a disorder
i guess that’s why the Creator made you first
you’re the only thing in my life that stays constant
when everything else change keeping your course
staying firm to your charge and what you were founded
on we all can learn from you
# # #
Thank you, Kolayah, for participating in the “Letters to a Young Sister” by Hill Harper book promotion contest with your message of love to mothers.
I feel my post title needs no more words. Every time Michael Vick‘s name comes up, people go into autopilot with their rant about what they think of him and how cruel and inhumane he is. I can’t even bring the topic up in the house because my husband, a die-hard sports fanatic, is so disgusted with the way Michael Vick is being treated. For me, I’m not a sports fan but a social critic so I wasn’t initially inclined to write about Michael Vick. I am now because I feel he deserves more press presenting a different point of view.
I own a dog that I love dearly and would never want him to be hurt by anyone or anything, and to be honest, until I looked at some images of the aftermath of dog fighting it didn’t it didn’t hit home- hence why I put an image before you as well. It is a cruel practice, but not exclusive to Michael Vick nor other cruel practices and acts that happen right here within our borders every day. So while this image disgusts me, I am willing to put things back into perspective.
Secondly, and more importantly, Michael Vick has served his time. I write about stories all the time where people get away with murder, literally and metaphorically, of human beings which I think rank higher in the world of crime than animals. He did not murder a person, but yes, he essentially murdered countless dogs. It is admittedly a tough discussion to have with yourself, let alone with others. People, give this man a break! Let him go back and play football. Clap when he enters the field the first time as a show of respect and support that he has done the crime and served his time. Too many of you are walking around like hypocrites. The graphic nature of this crime coupled with the black man persona, hold up I’m about to get to that, makes good finger pointing TV.
(AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)
Thirdly, Michael Vick is a big, black, scary, evil man. That’s right. I said it. That’s what so many of you are thinking if you’re honest with yourself. Boy, I wish “The Boondocks” was still airing because I know Aaron McGruder would have a field day with this story. Ask yourself honestly, would you feel as strongly if Michael Vick was an all American white guy? The minute we take 2 steps forward, I feel like we then take 3 steps back. Obama brought about change at historical proportions here in the US. A black man as president of the United States, and he’s smooth, intelligent, articulate like more African Americans in the country than people care to recognize; but, he’s not that big, dark skinned, scary black guy that people insert when they see Michael Vick. Are you following me?
I’m probably catch hell from you PETA types after posting this video I received via email yesterday, but I’m posting it anyway. We all need to lighten up a little and let Michael Vick atone for his actions and make his way back into his love of football and resume his life as a better man. Sure, for good PR, he should do some PSAs about animal cruelty. I figure that will come without asking.
Landline TV has put together a sketch that’s on YouTube called “Michael Vick’s PETA Commercial” and stars Justin Brown, Zach Woods, and Jared Neumark. Thanks to Landline TV for sending this my way.
On a serious note, I just ran across this article in the NY Daily News…
Before I go, I ran across this video on NFL.com. It was posted in 2008 but I still think it’s an interesting timeline of Michael Vick’s life. Since I can’t embed the video, click the link below…
The hilarious folks at FunnyOrDie.com collaborated with Common (aka “my boyfriend” …LOL), Ryan Perez, and Eric Appel to put together the song/video called “Dow Jones.” Check it out!
Thanks for these last couple of years. Growing up, our relationship was sorted, muddled and wrought with miscommunications and misunderstandings. If it weren’t for the fact that I chose to go to grad school and, subsequently, had to move home, I would have continued to believe you were the person I made you in my head. Instead, we talked. We struggled. We learned things about ourselves and each other that only the strain of abject poverty can reveal. Thanks for being there to pick up the pieces when I finally realized that you are human. Though flawed and imperfect you are the greatest gift to me. Thank you for being my mother.
The story of 13 year old Megan Meier’s suicide from O’Fallon, Missouri as the result of cyber bullying by 3 main conspirators (a parent, her 13 year old daughter and a 19 year old female co-worker) who befriended Megan on MySpace under the fictitious identity of a 16 year old boy named Josh Evans raises more questions than answers….
If you don’t know about the organization Peas in their Pods or the Rilya Alert System, check out the following…
Please support them through the links above and by spreading the word. By doing so, you are helping to save the life of a loved one and keeping our children safe.
Back in Fall 2007, around Halloween, there was a shooting outside of an Atlanta area club. The two young men involved were both were Morehouse College students, a prestigious all men’s HBCU (Historically Black Colleges and Universities) located in Atlanta, Georgia. Joshua Norris pulled up to Rashad Johnson with a gun. As Rashad tried to muscle the gun from Joshua’s hands (Rashad was unarmed), it went off. In the end, one of the three shots lodged in Rashad’s leg. The bullet still remains in his leg to this day as a painful reminder of the events that night in 2007.
On a personal note, Rashad had been taking that Fall semester off to grieve his father’s passing just 3 months prior and was still living in Atlanta at the time (permanent home is in California). Since that time, Rashad has returned home to California.
This story made headlines recently because Joshua, the shooter, just received his college degree from Morehouse College this past weekend. This was the result of a sweet plea deal offered by the prosecuting attorney where Joshua plead no contest in exchange for 6 years of probation, 240 hours of community service, and the promise to finish his college education at Morehouse.
I scratched my head as I heard this story on CNN over the weekend. It just didn’t make sense.
Then I got angry…
The plea deal is ridiculous offering from the prosecution. Rashad said that he was not notified of this plea deal nor the court hearing where the decision was finalized. His attorney, the prosecuting attorney, has since resigned.
That’s it, and that’s the troubling part. Joshua gets off nearly scott-free with a college degree and cleaning a few toilets while his victim ends up returning home to cope with his injuries, the grief from the loss of his father, and presumably get a fresh start at a different school (although I did read he was trying to save money). The prosecuting attorney is not working anymore but no further action was taken. The administration at Morehouse College never paused to consider this situation, at a minimum, from the standpoint of ensuring the safety of other students. The judge blessed this plea deal (although I’m not familiar enough with law to know if the judge could have done anything to change the outcome).
The only ray of light is in knowing that Rashad intends to pursue a law degree after completing his bachelor’s at Sacramento City College.
Here are a few other resources that I read before preparing this post…
Here are a few excerpts, but go to BlackNews.com for the full story.
In times past, only women living New York City could boast about the wonders of Dominican hair salons. Now Dominican salons are popping up in Houston, DC, Chicago, Atlanta, Detroit and everywhere in between! RoundBrushHair.com, a website created by then 25 year-old Jennifer Drew helps Dominican stylist/salons reach and communicate with African American women and provide Dominican hair products to women and salons…
…Dominican salons are taking the black hair industry by storm because they specialize in afro-textured hair and offer fast, affordable service.
I just surfed RoundBrushHair.com and it’s worth a look. There are products as well as a search service for Dominican salons.
Roadside will release the film domestically in the fall, reports Variety. Lionsgate will handle home video and other domestic ancillary rights, while HBO retains pay cable rights.
50% of your donation (less Pay Pal fees) will go to Emerge Global charity (http://emergeglobal.org/). The other 50% funds the sweat equity I put into my work for your enjoyment. My hope is that one day I will be able to donate 100% to charity.
I own a dog that I love dearly and would never want him to be hurt by anyone or anything, and to be honest, until I looked at some images of the aftermath of dog fighting it didn’t it didn’t hit home- hence why I put an image before you as well. It is a cruel practice, but not exclusive to Michael Vick nor other cruel practices and acts that happen right here within our borders every day. So while this image disgusts me, I am willing to put things back into perspective.
The story of 13 year old Megan Meier’s suicide from O’Fallon, Missouri as the result of cyber bullying by 3 main conspirators (a parent, her 13 year old daughter and a 19 year old female co-worker) who befriended Megan on MySpace under the fictitious identity of a 16 year old boy named Josh Evans raises more questions than answers….
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